Last week, when I was fixing my airwave (basically pincurls created with a blowdryer) for a third time, the woman next to me commented, "You're a perfectionist, aren't you?"
Caught off guard a little, I laughed and said, "Yeah, I guess I am."
She said, "I can feel your perfectionism from here. Well, somebody's gotta be perfect!"
I laughed again and said, "It's definitely not going to be me."
It doesn't take any special insight to figure out that I'm a perfectionist. I was probably audibly grinding my teeth at the thought of not being at the top of my class. The trees are so pretty and so numerous in this forest I can't see because I'm busy counting the leaves and memorizing the names of the species. I agonize over small decisions: Use the 0.75" or the 1.25" curling iron? The future of Western civilization depends on it!! I gloss over huge decisions: Meh, law school, beauty school, we're all gonna die anyway, right? I wouldn't recognize a happy medium if it came up and bonked me over the head with a 1" curling iron and said, "Do what makes you happy! As long as you don't hurt yourself or others, it's all good. And use this one."
And I still fuck up, of course. We all do. And I am way too hard on myself when I do. So I'm trying not to be too bothered that I have to start the cosmo program over at the end of October because I sprained my leg and have been prescribed at least a week's bedrest (all my own fault, as yesterday's entry explains). So what? I was only three days into it. This is probably a blessing in disguise. I'll be much readier for it this time. Unlike in law school, there's no shame in repeating a module. People do it all the time. I know I'll benefit from the extra practice. It's important to me that I not just pass but be... well, I was going to say perfect. But I'll settle for awesome.
Meanwhile I've got to get my ass in gear (admittedly difficult when lying flat on my back with my leg elevated), and step up my job search, start a new knitting project, brainstorm ideas for NaNoWriMo (whether or not it ends up being doable), and compile a collaborative Halloween CD for my friends. Putting the songs in order is always the most difficult part (it has to be perfect!). Making the cover art is the coolest.
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2 comments:
Oh, bummer about the bedrest! Well, at least it's a perfect opportunity to spend entire days flipping through fashion mags and looking at hairstyles, right?
I am utterly bereft because I just got a phone message telling me my hairdresser has MOVED AWAY. I can't begin to imagine searching for a new one. Any chance you want to move down to sunny Cali when you finish beauty school???
Oh noes!! I feel your pain--a hairstylist who really clicks with you and understands your hair is a rare bird indeed.
Cali is a distinct possibility! I'm getting tired of the rain and the fact that every exit's an ex-boyfriend memory lane. (I know I overquote the Dresden Dolls but I doubt you'll mind. [g])
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