Shaming Your Ancestors Is Awesome

I'm half Japanese. That means I avoided math like the plague even though I was pretty good at it, I'm not considered conventionally attractive although some people fetishize my exotic looks, and I was very happy to see Asians portrayed as stoners in the Harold and Kumar movies (and I practically idolize Kelly, the Indian woman on The Office, who's a world-class ditz, and an AWESOME one). This Onion article pretty accurately describes my valiant battle against "positive" stereotypes. I just want to party, not achieve!


To get back to the part about exotic looks and fetishism, I was annoyed to see this white girl dressed all geisha in the Harajuku Lovers ad at left. What, couldn't they find an actual Asian chick?! Not that I expect authenticity from anything involving Gwen Stefani. But this is the kind of thing that made me want to kill myself when I was a teenager. In a way, it's led to my decision to become a cosmetologist. I want to study these Western beauty standards in depth, deconstruct these golden means, and see if I can help expand the conventional definition of beauty. I do not want to see one more Asian girl growing up hating herself because she thinks she doesn't look white enough to be considered "pretty." Fuck that shit.

So here's who I wish had been around when I was in high school: Thao Nguyen.

It seems never to have occurred to her that she couldn't become the next Kim Deal or Cat Power just because she's Vietnamese. She's cool as a lick of ice cream, and she's gorgeous while still being unapologetically nonwhite. Someone puts her in a perfume ad, I'll buy that shit. Harajuku Lovers, you are dead to me.